I woke up from a dream in which was telling a waiting room full of people about the tricks some OBs have up their sleeves. My OB showed up, and I continued by telling them all about the dangers of cytotech, cervodil, pitocin, and what the OBs wont tell you. How they play God; how they should be there in case of real emergencies, not creating them. Trying to strip the membrane of a woman who is 40 weeks 1 day along, and not dilated is a forceful abuse of power. After cervodil, and cytotech, cranking the pitocon so contractions are more frequent (every minute for several hours) is traumatic. Shoving a Foley catheter in a woman’s closed cervix, expanding the balloon on it in order to pry open the cervix, and setting it tautly on her leg in order for it to pull on the cervix, and dilate the cervix, is wrong. “Doctor., even though you were on call, and you were trusted to ‘get my baby out,’ doesn’t mean what you did wasn’t molestation.” I finished, while sobbing, by telling him, “Just because you have a license, a medical one at that, doesn’t mean it isn’t (birth) rape; ‘do no harm,’ you reeked havoc on me, emotionally. Shame on you!”
I woke with tears in my eyes, feeling distressed, and exhausted, but feeling very consciously aware of something: “In one way, or another, I need to face my abusers. “
Realization In A Dream
September 10, 2011 at 5:40 AM (Birth)
Tags: birth, birth rape, birth trauma, cervodil, cytotech, delivery, induction, labor, OB, pitocin
Intactavism Challenged– Guest Post by Meredith
August 12, 2011 at 10:00 AM (Circumcision, Foreskin Friday, Guest Writer)
Tags: baby boys, circumcised, circumcision, circumcision photos, FGM, foreskin, foreskin retraction, genital mutilation, intact, MGM, penis, prepuce
This weekend will begin my 5th Session at Sacred Mountain Midwifery School. Each month we are given personal homework on top of our regular homework. I was assigned a topic in our circumcision debate. I have to be Pro-Circ. If you know me you will know how hard this has been. Since you don’t know me I will tell you about this emotional struggle I have had.
Growing up I never knew what circumcision was or what it meant. Even after the partners I have had over the years, I was still naive to the subject. It wasn’t until I became pregnant that I familiarized myself with the subject. We did not know the sex of the baby I was carrying so we wanted to educate ourselves on all topics. I came across circumcision photos taken by Patti Romos and my decision was made. The terror on that sweet boy’s face was enough for me.
It didn’t take any persuasion to get my husband on board. He was horrified by what was being done and confused by what was done to him. He vowed never to harm our future sons. We then began educating ourselves with facts and statistics so we would be prepared when family or friends questioned our choice.
Fast forward. My son is now 8 months old and completely whole. Each day I thank my husband for keeping him intact. I have been working on my debate project. Surfing the web for Pro-Circ information and facts. Each day I read it I become sad and discouraged. Reading things like “clinical and neurological testing of the ventral and dorsal surfaces, as well as the glans, and detected no difference in penile sensitivity between circumcised and uncircumcised men.” I became very angry when I read this:
“Separation of the prepuce from the glans during development is completed in the 5th month of gestation [Diebert, 1933]. The foreskin has no role after birth.”
How can I know what I do and present my class with such flawed studies? Such false information? I have become sad and withdrawn. My husband tries to encourage me by telling me “This will just make you more passionate and knowledgeable about intactivism.” I am not swayed and continue to struggle.
Then one night it comes to me. A solution to my emotional struggle came to me as I was watching a video by Ryan McAllister called Circumcision: An Elephant in the Hospital. In the video he compares 3 photos. One of a young boy being circumcised, one of a young girl being circumcised and one of a baby boy being circumcised. They all have the same agony across their faces. Each are feeling the same horrific pain. In that moment I knew how I would approach the debate. I would argue Pro-Circumcision but in my own way.
I will be arguing pro-Female Genital Cutting (FGC) but carefully avoid telling people I’m referring to females. In this I hope they might assume I’m referring to males and then reveal that I’ve been arguing for females the whole time. I am doing this in the hopes that people will see how unnecessary and ridiculous circumcision is on any gender. How though they are different sexes the procedure causes the same harm and disfigurement. I know a lot of people don’t think that FGC and RIC go hand in hand. They argue that FGC is so much worse and horrific than RIC could ever be, I politely disagree.
Each involve cutting of the genitals without consent. Both are done for religious beliefs or the thought that the end result “looks better.” On both sexes this custom remove erogenous tissue and is justified by supposed health benefits. With this I have found that all the fighting and education I am providing about RIC should be extended to the other sex. The extreme forms of FGC are not commonly practiced and the most commonly practiced forms are generally equal to or less severe than male circumcision. Many people think that all female circumcision is the removal of the clitoris, hood and labia and sewing up of the vaginal opening and are very surprised when they find out most of the time it’s just the hood or labia.
We should be working to protect the rights of all infants not just males. Our laws should protect all infants, not just females. I think our country’s views of equal rights need to be reevaluated. How can we protect one and not the other? Our country says by law that a woman has the right to choose what to do with her own body, even if it means ending the life of a person who didn’t get to choose. So then why are we still not protecting a mans right to choose what to do with his own body? Men are forced to have their penises cut without consent, we do this when they are too little and small to fight back or say “No.”
Studying and preparing myself for this debate has made me more passionate about intactivism but not just keeping little boys whole. I have had my eyes opened to keep all our children whole. Isn’t that what intactavism should be about? Protecting the rights of all children not just one sex or another.
There are some great charts that outline the similarities between FGC and RIC provided here:
http://www.fgmnetwork.org/intro/mgmfgm.html
Living simply and INTACT! Guest Post By Living Simply
August 11, 2011 at 12:17 PM (Circumcision, Guest Writer)
Tags: baby boys, circumcised, circumcision, circumcision photos, FGM, foreskin, foreskin retraction, genital mutilation, intact, MGM, penis, prepuce
Sex is one of the most basic, necessary, intimate, joyful human experiences we are blessed with in our short time on this rock. Take pride in giving your baby boy the opportunity to grow up to have a fulfilling and satisfying life in every way possible, including sexually!
For more like this visit: Living Simply in a Complex World
The Adventures and Journey of Breastfeeding
August 5, 2011 at 10:00 AM (Breastfeeding)
Tags: Baby, breastfeeding, Nursing, World Breastfeeding Week
I am a huge supporter of breastfeeding. I will be the first person in line to offer encouragement, gentle advice, and snippets of my experiences as a breastfeeding mom. The road has not always been smooth but I have always mustered the strength to persevere. I really do love breastfeeding. I also really love lists. And what better than a post which discusses breastfeeding through a series of lists? I mean, don’t you get rather bored with reading paragraph after paragraph and paragraph? I thought so!
And now…my lists!
Top 10 Reasons Why I Breastfeed My Toddler (28 months old)
- From everything I have read, the general consensus is that breast milk continues to provide substantial amounts of key nutrients well beyond the first two years of life, especially protein, fat, and most vitamins. I want to do everything to protect my daughter from illness and disease and I see no better way to do this than through breast milk.
- Breast fed toddlers and preschoolers are sick less often. I will vouch for that. My daughter has only gotten sick a handful of times and even then, she has been able to quickly recover from the illness.
- I have no idea how mothers of non-breastfed children keep their babes hydrated during illness. When my daughter has been ill and refuses all other food and drink, I can count on her breast feeding to stay hydrated.
- I love the closeness that we share as a result of extended breastfeeding. Our mother-daughter bond grows stronger each day.
- I am beyond happy that I can provide my daughter with a source of comfort that she enjoys as much as I do. I want nothing more than to be able to soothe and relax her through my nourishing milk.
- Selfishly, there are a lot of health benefits for me. I have a reduced risk of breast cancer, uterine cancer, ovarian cancer, as well as osteoporosis and rheumatoid arthritis.
- It’s eco-conscious. More breast milk = less cups to wash which = less water used.
- My daughter has some eating challenges (not related to normal toddler food preferences) so I know she is getting all of the nutrition that she needs through frequent nursing.
- It is a way for us both to reconnect after a short separation (i.e. a couple of hours with Papa and Grandma) or after a particularly busy or trying day.
- It just feels right and it is what both my daughter and I enjoy. I’m not one to stop a good thing!
Top 9 Ways That Breastfeeding My Toddler is Different Than Breastfeeding Her as an Infant
- Babies tend to nurse peacefully. There is not a lot of moving around. Toddlers are practically trying out for the circus every time they get on the boob. Trying to keep my daughter’s flailing body parts in check while breastfeeding can be tricky!
- Babies get down to business. They are hungry, they eat, the often fall asleep while breastfeeding, and there is no funny business. Toddlers try to nurse and talk, they play the “latch on, latch off” game, they grab mommy’s available body parts, and they are easily distracted.
- Toddlers and babies with teeth can both bite (accidentally or not). It seems to hurt less when a little baby does it.
- You can tell a toddler to relatch if the initial attempt is a poor one. Babies require physical delatching which can be upsetting to them.
- Babies can breastfeed for hours at a time. Toddlers are in and out. They have other things to attend to!
- No one gave me a second glance if I was breastfeeding my baby in public. Everyone stares when I breastfeed my toddler in public.
- I was able to do other things while breastfeeding my daughter as a baby. Not possible now! My focus better be on my daughter and not on my cell phone, laptop, etc…
- I do not have as many worries about breastfeeding my toddler as I did about breastfeeding her as a baby. I always wondered if she was getting enough milk, if she would suddenly dislike breastfeeding, if it would not be something soothing for her, etc… I consider extended breastfeeding to be icing on the cake so it is a lot less stressful now.
- You can pretty much breastfeed in any position and in any location with ease when you are dealing with a baby. Not so much when it comes to breastfeeding a toddler. Her size, tendency to squirm and wiggle, and general cute antics limit where I am physically comfortable breastfeeding her.
The 8 Best Online Breastfeeding Support Sites That I Found
- La Leche League
- KellyMom
- The Leaky Boob
- Breastfeeding Moms Unite
- IVillage Breastfeeding Support Board
- Dispelling Breastfeeding Myths
- Blacktating
- The Natural Parents Network
The 7 Most Important Foods I Consume as a Breastfeeding Mother
- Water. Yes, this is technically not a food but keeping hydrated is vital to successful breastfeeding as well as the health of the mother. Water is far superior to any other beverage out there. Coconut water is a close second due to its electrolytes and low sugar content as compared to fruit juices and other sweetened beverages.
- Cod Liver Oil. Again, technically not a food but it supplies 20,000 IU vitamin A and 2000 IU vitamin D per day which is critical for breastfeeding moms. No multivitamin can compare.
- Eggs. I eat three eggs every day! Forget what you have heard about eggs and cholesterol. Studies have found that the cholesterol in eggs does not contribute to high cholesterol. Eggs are the most nutritionally complete food available with one yolk providing an entire day’s supply of vitamins.
- Healthy fats including whole milk, real butter, organic chicken with the skin on, red meat with fat, and coconut oil. We have been programmed to think fat is our enemy. Read this recent post I wrote to learn more about fats.
- Fresh fruits and vegetables of all kinds, organic when possible.
- Lots of wild salmon, shellfish, and fish eggs.
- Homemade bone broth which I will either drink as is, use to make soup, or use to cook rice and other grains in. Bone broth has so many vital nutrients and minerals in it. Hugely important to consume as a breastfeeding mother.
The 6 Foods That I Avoid Like The Plague as a Breastfeeding Mother
- Sugar laden foods of all kinds. I will consume homemade treats so long as I use natural sweeteners like honey, maple syrup, stevia, or other unrefined sugars. There is no health benefit for your baby and no nutritional value for you when you eat sugary snacks.
- Supermarket breakfast cereals. These cleverly marketed pretend foods are the worst possible way that you could start your day and are top of the list of foods to avoid. They often have a glycemic index similar to or higher than pure glucose syrup. Eating these cereals for breakfast is not much better than having a chocolate bar.
- Low fat and non fat foods. Your baby and your body need healthy fats! See my above link for more information on fat.
- Alcohol and caffeine. I know, more beverages. Some moms fell ok about having these items in moderation. I tried it, felt guilty, and decided that I was going to limit my intake of both. I very rarely have a glass of wine and I steer clear of caffeine. I actually feel great without both!
- Soy products unless properly fermented (as in the case of miso or tempeh). Soy is now known to cause a host of health problems particularly related to hormone development. I steer clear of these now.
- Processed, packaged, convenience foods. Do I need to elaborate? I know that these are quick and easy, just what a new mommy needs in her life, but the nutritional value is nonexistent. Homemade using fresh ingredients is always best. Need some inspiration and support. Try this post.
The 5 Things I Wish I Did BEFORE Beginning My Breastfeeding Journey
- Attended A La Leche Meeting. It would have been helpful to have already created a relationship with our local chapter leader as well as other breastfeeding moms. It would also have provided some insight into breastfeeding that I did not have otherwise.
- Created a supportive network of 2-3 breastfeeding moms who I could call day or night to help me through some of the tougher breastfeeding moments.
- Learned more about some of the potential challenges that can occur with breastfeeding. Therefore, when they happened to me, I would not have been so shocked.
- Looked into online support communities. Although I found these after I began my breastfeeding journey, it would have been easier to already have them in place. One less thing for an anxious, overtired new mommy to do.
- Bought many different styles and sizes of nursing bras and tank tops. It would have been easier to return the ones that did not work than trying to send someone else out to find ones that fit.
The 4 Top Things I Wish I Knew About Breastfeeding
- That breastfeeding is apparently rocket science these days and that I would be made to feel like neither my baby nor I had any “natural instincts” about breastfeeding. We would both need to be “taught” how to do it but in teaching, breastfeeding would become more difficult than it needed to be.
- That it is possible for a baby to have a horrifically strong gag reflex which makes it impossible for her to latch properly. This means that said baby will have to adjust by becoming an efficient “nipple nurser” they very thing every lactation consultant cautions you against.
- That you can get blisters (called blebs) on your nipples from poor latch or an increased frequency in breastfeeding. You can also pop these on your own.
- That the best way to clear a clogged milk duct is to have your husband suck on your breast until it clears.
The 3 Most Common Activities I Engage(d) In While Breastfeeding
- Reading
- Internet surfing
- Talking on the phone
The 2 Most Comical Locations I Have Breastfed In
- Sitting on the curb of a really busy street.
- Sitting in a pasture watching sheep nurse their babies.
My #1 Relief for Nipple Pain, Cracked Nipples, Nipple Blisters, and General Nipple Discomfort
- Coconut oil! I recently posted 80 Uses for Coconut Oil on my blog. If you are interested in reading more about this godsend then please go check out that post. Now, about those sore nipples.
Coconut oil is really pretty amazing in helping to quickly heal and then protect damaged and sore nipples. I must warn you that it will stain clothing so you might want to give some consideration to the method I use. After breastfeeding, soak a cotton ball with coconut oil. If your coconut oil is solid then scoop a little into a glass container and microwave it for a few seconds to soften it up. It works just fine in either a liquid or more solid state so use it whichever way you prefer. I just scoop it out and plop it on the cotton ball. Place a second cotton ball over the first and then using cloth medical tape, secure the cotton ball (coconut oil side down) onto your nipple and surrounding area. Leave it there until your next breastfeeding session. Repeat. Keep doing this until you and your baby have mastered breastfeeding and/or you are no longer in discomfort and/or your nipples have healed. I still use this treatment!
Did I mention that coconut oil is TOTALLY safe for baby? So, no need to aggravate your angry nipples more by rinsing off other creams. Just rip off gently remove the tape and cotton ball and pop baby on. Voila!
Coconut oil is also great when you have nipple blisters. My approach is to soak a cotton ball in WARM coconut oil, leave it on for an hour, reapply another cotton ball with more WARM oil for another hour, and then pop the blister with a sterilized needle. The coconut oil softens the blister making it super simple to pop (it does not hurt to do this) and it also has already begun sanitizing the area. After popping the blister, rub the nipple with gratuitous amounts of coconut oil and keep clothing and baby off of it for about 30 minutes. This should clear it right up…until the next one.
I hope that my lists have entertained, encouraged, and provided an honest insight into the adventures and journey of breastfeeding. I am proud to have successfully made it this far and hope to continue until my daughter decides that she no longer needs her “milkies.” Natural weaning will certainly be tougher on me than on my precious little one. But until then, I just go with the flow. (Pun intended!)
Blessings,
Jennifer, Hybrid Rasta Mama
Milky Smiles– Sasha
August 3, 2011 at 8:00 AM (Breastfeeding)
Tags: breastfeeding, breastmilk, national breastfeeding week
I never questioned whether I would breastfeed, or not, for years I knew I would. Didn’t give it too much thought, couldn’t be too hard, after all its only natural.
I had an (medically unnecessary) induction at an estimated 40 weeks 1day gestation, which lasted 30-something hours, and ended with an epidural that I had previously made clear I didn’t want. So needless to say, breastfeeding when I met my darling Bean was a bit rocky.
I pumped quite a bit at first, due to a poor latch for which the LC blamed, “my large anatomy.” I felt pretty low, and it was not at all how I wanted it to be. One day I was absolutely exhausted with the constant pumping, I grabbed my baby, laid in bed with her at my side, and let her find my breast. Amazed at how it just clicked, after weeks of listening to my pump call me a loser, my bub was breastfeeding like a champ.
I am a fortunate, working mom who doesn’t have to pump often for my nursling. You see, Bean comes with me to work, I wear her, and she nurses as needed. There is a certain amount of irony here though, I breastfeed my bub everyday, all day– except 2-3 days of the year.
One week each year, for the past few years, I leave town for work. Here’s where the irony comes in, I leave on World Breastfeeding Week. Besides the natural mommy guilt of leaving my baby, I spend my time during a (small) portion of WBW listening to that bloody pump call me a loser. All mothers have sacrifices to make, and I am lucky that this one comes, but once per year.
I love my nursling, I love our breastfeeding relationship, I love her milky smiles the most. I am comfortable letting my darling daughter nurse wherever, whenever, and for however long she chooses.
“If human milk has the benefit of lowering your risk of cancer, then breathing air has the benefit of lowering your risk of asphyxiation. Breast is not best; it’s normal.” ~Guggie Daly
Tandeming Twins– by Valerie Lund
August 2, 2011 at 8:00 AM (Breastfeeding, Guest Writer)
Tags: breastfeeding, breastmilk, World Breastfeeding Week
I had a lot of questions when I found out that I was pregnant with twins, none of which was whether or not I could breastfeed. I did a lot of Internet searches, which led me to buying a nursing pillow designed to tandem breast feed twins. All of my preparation did not prepare me for the reality of feeding two babies, both who had poor suck reflexes.
After my babies were born, I quickly understood that tandem nursing twins was going to take time to figure out. Getting the hang of feeding one was easy, when I could get her to latch on. My babies were born at 36 weeks 5 days gestation, and while neither had time in the NICU, they were both tiny and not good at nursing. I started using a breast pump the day after my babies were born and continued to use it every day, multiple times a day, for almost 3 months. I know I would not have been successful at breastfeeding if I had not had a pump available. Neither baby could get enough nourishment while eating directly from the breast, as they would both tire, and fall asleep before their stomachs were truly full
.
Our pediatrician was not nearly as supportive of my breastfeeding as I felt she should have been. I went into each appointment feeling really good, only to leave feeling horrible, and depressed. Our first month with the babies was spent at the doctor’s office getting them weighed, the doctor kept giving me formula samples because my kids were not gaining as fast as she thought they should, she wanted one of them to be on weight gaining formula. I agreed to use the formula with extra calories, but did not agree to use it as she instructed. She wanted me to quit breastfeeding, and use only the formula. I decided that I would continue to breastfeed, but would supplement every other feeding with the formula after the one baby had been on the breast. At the same time, I started supplementing with pumped milk after every feeding, as well, since the babies were much better at eating from a bottle, and did not tire out before getting the calories they needed. To ensure that my milk supply did not drop, I made sure that my breast pump got a very good work out after most feedings. After a few days of using formula after every other feeding, I decided that I could go to every third feeding. At our next weigh in, my child on formula had gained more weight than she needed. The other baby, who was receiving pumped milk after feedings, had gained exactly what our pediatrician was looking for. That was the first appointment that I left feeling good. I decided from there on out I was going to do what I thought was best for my children as long as I could tell they were thriving. I was instructed to continue feeding with the formula at every feeding. I never used formula again. Instead, I made sure that they got time on the breast, pumped milk in a bottle during the day, and only bottles at night. The bottle of milk was all they needed to continue gaining weight. At our next weigh in the doctor commented on how well the formula was working and told me to continue using it; I neglected to tell her that I had stopped the formula.
We continued to feed both girls out of a bottle at night, and straight from the breast during the day until they were almost 3 months old. At 3 months both decided on the exact same night, and same feeding that they were done with bottles. They were breastfeeding well by that point, and I was tired of not sleeping. To ensure that my supply met their demands, I was pumping after every bottle feeding at night. It was not uncommon for me to get 20 or 30 minutes of sleep in between each feeding session. I was exhausted, though I’m a stubborn person, and knew that I could get through the lack of sleep if I just gave it time. I was getting a little more sleep by the time my twins decided to stop taking bottles, and I was still grateful for the break in midnight pumping sessions. I was able to tandem nurse them by that point, while they still woke often to eat, our nights started to go much better.
Poor latch, slow weight gain, and refusal of bottles were not the only obstacles I faced while breastfeeding. Both kids were spitting up a lot after feedings, their skin was dry with patches of eczema, and they periodically had green bowel movements. Knowing that dairy intolerance’s ran in my family, I quickly realized that I would need to cut dairy out of my diet. I had cut dairy out of my diet once before, so I knew to read all labels as there are dairy products in so many foods. Thankfully, dairy was the culprit, so I didn’t have to look for another food item to eliminate.
I introduced sippy cups with breast milk when they were around 5 months old, as they would no longer drink from a bottle. While they wouldn’t take a lot from the sippy, they would take some which allowed me to leave them for short periods of time without worrying if they were hungry. My kids continued to get most of their calories from breast milk until they were about 13 months old; they loved to breastfeed. We offered them a wide variety of foods that they enjoyed, but they didn’t like anything as much as my milk. I had people asking me often when I planned on weaning them, however I had no plans to wean. The girls were happy nursing, and I was happy to nurse them.
We had changed pediatricians by this time. At every appointment she would ask if they were still breastfeeding, as well as if they were sleeping through the night yet. At every appointment I told her no, but instead of making me feel bad, she would ask if I was okay with that, and moved on. She offered encouragement at each appointment after I would tell her that I was okay with them nursing at night and throughout the day. At 16 months, both kids slept through the night for the first time without waking to nurse, and that was the end of our night nursing. I have to admit that by that time I was more than ready to be done with nursing them at night. Letting them decide they were done made it a smooth transition for all of us. The end of our nursing relationship was closer than I thought.
I personally had not decided when I would stop nursing, I was willing to let them self wean as long as I was still happy nursing them. Just before 19 months, both children self weaned, I was sad. I could still hold and cuddle them, but I missed the nursing bond. I missed watching them tease each other as they tandem nursed, I missed their acrobatic moves and most of all, I missed those nursing smiles. While I missed all of that, I would be dishonest if I didn’t also say that I quickly got over my sadness. I still missed parts of nursing bond, but my children and I were able to fill that time with other amazing activities.
Comitted to Breastfeeding– by The Peaceful Housewife
August 1, 2011 at 8:00 AM (Breastfeeding, Guest Writer)
Tags: breastfeeding, breastmilk, World Breastfeeding Week
My husband and I were elated when we found out that we were expecting our first child, and we spent the next 7 months preparing Bella’s room and taking Bradley classes in hopes of achieving a natural birth. Despite my intense longing for a natural birth, I wasn’t really into breastfeeding and was only planning to do so because I knew it was best for baby, I didn’t want to spend the huge amount of money that formula feeding would require.
At 37 weeks pregnant, I wasn’t feeling well and called the doctor. I was immediately admitted to the hospital with severe pre-eclampsia. After 2 days of attempted but unsuccessful induction, my beautiful baby girl was born via emergency c-section. I got a few minutes of blissful bonding with her before she was whisked off to the newborn nursery, unable to maintain her temp and with dangerously low blood sugar. I was taken to my hospital room, no longer pregnant but without my baby.
The next morning, when I was able to see her, my husband walked with me to the nursery. A feeling of total failure as a mother washed over me as I looked around the room and realized that I didn’t even recognize my own baby. At last, though, I got to hold my sweet little girl for a few moments of bliss. The lactation consultant just happened to be in the nursery as well, and when she saw my chart she noticed that I wanted to breastfeed and told me she would get me set up to pump.
Almost 24 hours after Bella’s birth, I finally began to pump and produce that precious milk. I had felt helpless to help my baby girl get better, but as she began to get that pumped milk her health improved. Finally, I could do something to help my sweet girl! I continued to pump for Bella as we found out that she had contracted Group B Strep during labor and stayed with her in the hospital for 10 days as she was treated with antibiotics.
When we came home, I continued pumping and bottle feeding because Bella refused to latch on. Finally, at 4 weeks old, I got her to begin nursing with a nipple shield and was able to wean from the shield and nurse my sweet girl. I continued to nurse and began pumping again when I returned to work at 8 weeks so Bella could have mommy’s milk while I was away.
Bella and I had a beautiful nursing relationship for 15 months, co-sleeping through the nights and enjoying nursies on airplanes, in grocery stores, in Carlsbad Caverns and many other places.
When our second child, Alex, was born at 33 ½ weeks because of severe pre-eclampsia, I knew already what I needed to do. I asked my night nurse, and she made sure I had a hospital grade pump and a manual pump to start pumping for Alex. I had already pumped a few times when I got to see him the first time, and his milk was waiting for him in the NICU when he was cleared for milk from his nasal tube. Little by little, Alex got more and more mommy milk and grew bigger and stronger.
I pumped after I was discharged from the hospital and stashed milk in the NICU freezer while the NICU nurses teased sweetly that I might be able to feed the entire NICU with all the milk I was pumping. After the NICU freezer was full, I began freezing my milk at home for after I returned to work. A couple of weeks in, I was devastated when I lost my entire freezer stash because the extra freezer came open and it all thawed out.
Alex came home at 4 weeks old, still loving his pumped mommy milk. He is a very head strong little one, and he wouldn’t have anything to do with trying to latch on. Finally, around 6 weeks, I caved and began using a nipple shield to help him latch on, and our bottle-less breastfeeding relationship finally began. I cherished the precious moments when he was happily latched on and enjoying his mommy milk. I tried unsuccessfully for the remainder of our breastfeeding relationship to wean from the shield, but just couldn’t get him to latch on without it.
I continued to pump as I returned to work and Alex enjoyed his milk when I was at work. Thanks to the stash I’d built up before returning to work and a wonderful friend who pumped her for me after she nursed her little one, Alex had nothing but mommy milk until after he was 10 months old. We continued our breastfeeding relationship, although many times it was against his will. I fought to continue until after his first birthday, and as he continued to refuse to nurse I allowed our breastfeeding relationship to come to a peaceful end.
When I began my breastfeeding relationship with Bella, I was only halfway committed to breastfeeding. As I continued, I became deeply committed to breastfeeding and very passionate about helping other women have successful breastfeeding relationships. Breastfeeding doesn’t only look one way. For many women, the perfect breastfeeding relationship doesn’t develop for a myriad of reasons, but I love helping women to see that they can define their own successful breastfeeding relationship rather than beating themselves up over what they couldn’t do.
–Jenny, The Peaceful Housewife
